Speaking of Protocol | Tag Archives: party

Original Post: December 6, 2013

It’s holiday party time! The season for festive sweaters, glittering jackets and sequined skirts! All year long we plan for this and some of us have saved last season’s bargain finds for this year’s festivities…but as we study the invitation, we wonder if that reindeer nosed sweater is really appropriate for this year’s event? What should you wear? Oh wait! There’s no dress code on the invitation! What should you do? Well, first, don’t leave dress to guesswork. If you’re not sure, ask the host/hostess.

Next, realize that in spite of the dress code, your attire should always reflect professional presence. Just as one is cautioned not to overdo casual Friday i.e., change only one item of clothing, dress up times should be equally as conservative. Clothes communicate powerful messages about status, authority, power and rank. Whether we like it or not, success and professionalism have developed their own image within all social circles. Our clothing is our social exchange for belonging within a certain group. According to Wikipedia, “dress codes are written and, more often, unwritten rules with regard to clothing.” Clothing has a social significance and is an important part of social exchanges. That means you can’t show up with your blinking nose reindeer sweater and assume it will be OK “because it’s just so cool”. Protocol demands that you take pains to ensure you wear the proper attire and don’t give away your personal power.

In her book, Etiquette in Minutes, Etiquette Expert Syndi Seid offers guidelines to selecting appropriate party attire:

Black Tie: Men should wear a single or double breasted suit jacket with a black silk bow tie, black slacks and shoes. This is commonly referred to as “tuxedo or tux” dress for civilians or “full dress uniform” for military personnel. Women should dress in a floor length gown, one piece or separates.

Black Tie Optional: Men may wear tuxedo attire or a dark suit with a white shirt and a tie. Avoid light colored suits, sweater jackets or sport coats. Women’s choices are a floor length gown, an elegant suit or cocktail attire.

Business/Smart Casual: Business casual, meaning slightly informal but neat attire is the least understood dress code because it is only used in America! It can include items such as a leisure suit, nice shirt or sweater, slacks or khakis. But, you should err on the side of caution. It is best to be overdressed than undressed. Removing a jacket or necklace can tone down an overdressed outfit, but nothing disguises denim or athletic wear! Generally, you do the following when attending a business casual event:

Men should wear a sports coat, colored or white shirt, slacks and loafer-styled shoes.
Women can choose business attire, church attire, or skirt/slacks with a matching jacket/sweater or blazer. Select shoes that accent your outfit, but avoid sequined or high heeled stilettos unless that is what you normally wear.

Casual Dress: Men can dress in long or short pants and a collared shirt with a coordinated sweater or a sports jacket. Ties are optional. Women can wear shorts, pants or skirts with a blouse, sweater or jacket.

Formal: Men may wear a dark suit with coordinated tie and shirt if the occasion is before 6PM. Women traditionally wear cocktail attire, business attire or a dressy suit. After 6 PM, formal is equal to Black Tie.

Informal or Semi-formal: For occasions before 6 PM, this attire is similar to Business Casual in the United States. A coat and tie or a business suit is appropriate for men. For women, a dress suit or church dress is appropriate. Any event after 6 PM should be considered dressier. So, men may choose to wear a dark business suit while women dress in a long cocktail dress or business suit.

White Tie: Men are expected to appear in a tailcoat with a white bow tie. Women should appear in the fanciest floor length formal gown, complete with gloves should they desire!

Following proper protocol when choosing your attire is essential to establishing and maintaining the power of presence. Remember, you’re not dressing to impress; you’re simply and silently communicating the power of your presence.

So, when selecting your party clothes this holiday season, don’t forget about protocol….because it matters!

I am Pamela Coopwood, and I am “Speaking of Protocol”

Original Post: October 23, 2013

Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr

Costumes tend to lend a sense of false security! What other time are we encouraged to be liberated behind a mask or an array of clothing, to release our inner inhibitions, all under the guise of fun?! But, the Account supervisor who donned her favorite purple “Lady Godiva” cape is probably rethinking her decision after she showcased her costume in full regale sans undergarments at the post work office party… or make that sheer flesh toned undies! Not only were her private parts on display but her professional standing and morality as well. Indeed her fall from grace had much to do with her fall from respect in the eyes of her coworkers, her superiors and her team.

Although this is the time of year when we are certainly allowed to contradict and poke fun at our everyday demeanor with fake tattoos, outrageous hair and/or earring ornaments, we must also bear in mind that even fun can become a threat if an unspoken protocol and/or expected behavioral boundary is crossed. Rather to err on the side of modesty than to be caught resembling the emperor without enough covering and lacking the wisdom to realize that the world is laughing at, not with you.

Here are some tips for the season’s festivities that will allow you to have fun without compromising your professionalism:

1. If it calls for a costume, don’t show up as you! You will not only dampen the spirits of the other party-goers, you risk appearing snobbish, separate from the team and making everyone regret that your invitation didn’t get lost in the mail!

2. Keep your fetishes and exhibitions hidden! Avoid any provocative or controversial costumes. Ladies resist wearing see-through ANYTHING!! Also nix too short or too low. Gentlemen should not use this time to make a political statement or poke fun at groups, niches or anything that could be interpreted as poor taste.

3. If you leave home in full regalia, be certain that you are not the ONLY one who is doing so! Clients should feel that they entered a seasonally festive environment not the work space of Wilhelmina Weirdo. Bring a change of clothes if there is any chance you will be called out for a client meeting.

4. Don’t call unnecessary attention to yourself with gadgets that are childish and unbecoming to you as a professional. While a fake toy whistle may be okay, a squirting boob is not. Also, if you are an Executive or CEO, skip clothing or trinkets that show off your tattoos, piercings or similar items.

5. Always remember that in this period of social media, you could be viral before you know it! Think about every repercussion of your actions and dress, not just for this event, but for your lifetime. Something’s are just too important to risk!

6. People view guests as an extension of you. If you bring a guest to a function, if necessary, discuss acceptable boundaries and behaviors before arriving at the event! Even if you are new to the company or the person is new to you, it is your responsibility that they not offend. While you may not be able to control their social interactions or manners, be prepared to leave if their behavior threatens your credibility in any manner whether through too much drink, or inappropriate conversations and/or behavior.

7. Remember, that just because you are playing dress up does not excuse unprofessional behavior. Things said behind the mask are still, things said. Never allow an occasion to “undress” your professional presence.

I am Pamela Coopwood, and I am “Speaking of Protocol”

Tag Archives: party

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